Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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