She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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