Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
