Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I am one with the molecules
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
