when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
someone owes me an orgasm
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
