i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
