I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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