at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
