What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize