Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
you never un-have a 4some
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
