3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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