Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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