I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
