Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
