this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
