Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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