She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
we're so committed to being not committed
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
