Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
