My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize