i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
