Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
