Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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