omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize