dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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