Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
