i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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