how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
