i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
