I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
