Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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