Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
jump out the window naked night went bad
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