I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
the raccoons are back...
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