I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
