I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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