In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
