How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
