can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
