He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize