I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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