This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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