obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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