I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
