all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
