I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
