I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
