I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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