Need sex. Gaining weight.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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