Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
