she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
