So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
