just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
