people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I should be sponsored by Trojan
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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