You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
we're so committed to being not committed
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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