Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just threw up on my dentist
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
