So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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