we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
