Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
