did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
