You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
