pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
