Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
