I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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